Friday, July 20, 2007

i. antagonize. you.



the original title of this blahg was "my favorite things about the death penalty," and before that it was "kill them all slowly." snarl, spit and growl when you say it. it just feels soo right.

anyways, the point is i believe in the death penalty. in fact, i believe we are too conservative with its uses and whom is subject to it as punishment. for example; i think michael bay should die. i want him to choke on a piginablanket. i think the government should sponsor his public execution. actually, anyone that spends $40 million or more on a film production that is responsible for the general regression of mankind, should be killed. guillotine. onethousandcuts. drawn. and. quartered.

maybe i am just bitter because i watched Transformers last night. beginning to end. the chinese bootleg wasn't even worth the $2.50 it cost...

because i'm a sucker and have a weakness for epic-childhood nostalgia, i was school-girl excited about Transformers. i knew it would be shit but that little boy with the bushy monobrow and blue/red rubberbands on his braces kept a little flame aglow. now that i have seen it and i am stupider, i feel the need to remind my constituents what that little girl looked like before HE raped her. we used to have heroes and synth rock on saturday mornings. now we have hangovers and bad breath. please everyone, get out your cereal bowl.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1VNwBKjV4E

if you like that, please please please watch the next three...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEsHUel04dY&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8Nc8RCLy1s&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1FFi2njYxU

if you didn't enjoy those, please leave now. just get on your horse and leave.

more from the podium. if you don't like michael bay either, clink here. there is hope yet.

finally, i just feel a need to acknowledge the overall pure joy of the chinese bootleg DVD. it is great on so many levels. it is the robin hood of our time (die michael bay die). it as an adventure in consuming (hong kong night markets. knock-offs, kitsch, and mah jong kits. what's not to like?). and it is an unpredictable film viewing experience (the last 10 minutes of the deadwood season finale was an 1970s italian film about a boy and his bicycle). for example, please please please check out the rear synopsis from this ocean's 13 boot... click on it to enlarge. you will not be dissapointed. it swells my heart with love.

let's stick with translation as our theme. fuck why not the?

some personal nuggets from afar.

i don't know what he is selling but i want some...
even though it is in hindi, the message is universal... "no glove no love"
back in the day, when men were men, all disputes were settled in this manner. banana-hammy wrestling matches. in india, sex toys are illegal. as is porn. but this is legit. g.O.d. bless.
i like this. straightforward. expect the worst and you'll never be dissapointed.
i have no idea but i like it. toopac
doorbell design epiphany. "we'll stick a nob right into it's mouth." brilliant.
classic and classy. bang.
bombay circus. forever.
june 18th fuckers! june 18th!
my favorite favorite. says. it. all.
but even better is when you flip the two sentences like this...
"WE PRODUCE POWER.
we are also concerned for the people."
just like that you go from G.O.D. to michaelbay.
i relate to this. same moustache. same message. double bang.
bombay circus. forever.

sorry. i got carried away this week. let's be serious from now on.


see you in the 4th dimension.