Saturday, March 31, 2007

the whisper song at full volume

ok people. this is it. the swan song. done deal. no more blahblahblahG. no more dotdotdotS. no more gooseberry-destroyer. no more z.a.c.k.. death to the silver surfer and waffles. inverted backwards middle fingers to maybes and i don't knows. to commerate my implosion, i have chosen the song "la mer" (the lawrence welk version is pure for sure!) as the soundtrack to this farewell. if you don't already carry it on you at all times please just hum the harmony as you pied-piper me to my new LiFe in my new HoMe dotdotfuckyoudot

that's right. i've relocated forever. no jordan. no ll cool j. no comeback what.so.ever.. i've discovered utopia. the gold at the end of the rainbow. the glow-in-the-dark-decoder-ring at the bottom of your cracker jacks. the girl with the pearl earing(necklace). the last mughal and the first cherry. it is real. it does exist. bacchus. unicorns. sirens. white horse with no addictive qualities. malcolm X baptizing tupac in a river of sangiovese red. mermaids and centaurs. polygomy and ice cream. grab a fucking spoon and come join me as i lick the various bodyparts of Bundi!

now i'm sure some of you will try all manners of persuasion to change my mind. fear of losing my charming antagonism, fun-loving mood swings and passionate self-destruction will clearly send some of you into a paranoid-frenzy. therefore, i've taken some precautions in order to dissuade your efforts. i've made both financial and emotional commitments to my new world that under no circumstances (except maybe presents. i love presents) would i be able to reneg. with that in mind, i ask you all to join together in embracing me and mine.

as a point of departure, below is a fucking terrible photo of Bundi proper. the red arrow points to the real estate lot i've purchased, soon to be the location of my new haveli, already titled "Church." it is located directly next to the home of the milk-wallah(straight from the holy teet! you can't beat it!) and caddy corner from a store that sells both glow-in-the-dark ganesh statues and the world's best watermelons(except for maybe snookie's. god bless you snooky!). city ordinance and G.O.D. says my house must be blue. canepari-gee and dotdotdot says fuck it. with the gooseberry out front. magic. haha! the new transport! huey lewis and the news! doc brown! marty motherfucking mcfly! don't worry though. the goose is still number one in my stable. this is for clubbing and for the rolling the strip. but even canepari-humble says the rims need updating. that's the newest member to team canepaRi-4$ever. his name is deathstardestroyer. i call him hollywoodbollywood. you can call him wilddomestic or skull-fucker. he is a chiller. i love him. ice cube and latifah are zero match for perdip and vikas...wait until you see my damage! wash. rinse. repeat. i still don't really know how much i paid for the new spread. we signed with the semen of a holy man and then drank the blood of the jabberowcky. the deal almost fell through when the notary fled with a bottle of wild turkey i was using to charm the seller. all i do know is this camel was dropped of in the morning by an hemaphrodite in a burqa(ask me how i know that!). the camel was humping (sorry but i had to!) my three new wives and a large pot of boiling-brown water(i have no idea.). whatever. fair is fair. and check out the charliebrown-stlyecut perdip and vikas lined-up for the doublehumper. and to avoid confusion, his name is simply, fuckyouthat'smycamel.and these are all my new friends... left to right, milkshakedestroyer, jellydoughnut(jellydoughnut is like 49 years old but is still nasty with the tigercrane technique) and pleaselovemeeventhoughi'mbrownandugly... soapface and sistermomwife of soapface... say it. you all want to. please...jjjeeeeessssssssusuuuussssss! say it again. louder.

jjjjjjeejeeeeeeesssssssusssuuuuuuuuuuusussssussss!!
on a curious side note, the hindi religion actually has a booger-fairy. she's like a distant cousin of shiva. myth has it that she visits your room at night, collects all the boogers you have rubbed off under your pillow and behind the bedframe, and then gives you either dysantery or tapeworm. oh yeah. i forget the girls. all the girls. no such thing as statuatory neither. double-bang-delight. parents please cover your kids ears...bangbangbangbangbangbangbangbangbangbangbangbangbangbangbangbangbangbang sorry. that was entirely inappropriate. sing it with me please...

la mer
qu'on voit dancer les long
de golf claire
a de reflect d'argent la mer
de reflect changeant
sous la pluie la mer
au ciel d'ete confond
les blanc moutons
avec les anges si purs la mer
bergere d'azur infinie voyez
pres des entangs
ce grand roucheaux mouille voyez
les oiseaux blancs
et ces maisons rouilles la mer
les a berces les long
de golf claire
et d'une chanson d'amour la mer
a berces mon couer pour la vie some people are just born with it... ...and some of us have to force it. see you in the 4th dimension. love me as much i love you. nah. love me more. bye forever.

1 comment:

Dulcinea said...

Dude, How are you? Mickey says you have typhoid fever, jaundice and everything else under the sun! Whoa! Guess you must be lovin' your new home. I on the other hand am lovin' the photos...take care.
Cheers, Dulcinea